Dear 38 Year Old Woman

Dear 38 Year Old Woman,

I saw your profile on Match.com the other day. You indicate that you “definitely” want children. That’s understandable. However, you close your profile with this:

Would love to meet some new folks to explore the city with and get introduced to all SF has to offer….and hopefully create some lasting friendships as well. If something more comes of that……well even better! Tour guide anyone?

Now, I’m not going to dwell on the fact that this is of a piece with your entire profile in that it’s an endless recitation of what you want and what others can do for you. No, I want to talk about your lackadaisical “hey, let’s hang out, and maybe become friends, and maybe form something more” rap.

My dear, you are thirty-eight years old. Check this shit out:

If you don’t “definitely” want kids, that’s fine, but you should update your profile. But if you do, then you’re either a liar or a moron. If you’re as motivated to get married as you ought to be, given your stated desires, then you’re at the very least being highly disingenuous with the tone of your coda. If you really “definitely” want kids, and are still futzing around at your age, then you need to grow the fuck up with a quickness.

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8 Responses to Dear 38 Year Old Woman

  1. Jim says:

    Dear 38 year old woman. As a 40 year old male, I don’t want you. And I can get much younger. Thought you should know. Goodbye and good luck.

    • Jen says:

      As a 38 year old woman, I do not want a 40 year old man who thinks he can get a “much” younger woman. Most 38 year old women don’t want some old 40 year old on the brink of midlife. Good luck big dreamer.

  2. P Ray says:

    She might be adopting? The “I want kids” meme may be used to draw out men with the idea that she is nurturing, without being specific, e.g. I want kids of my own.

  3. CL says:

    Sad, isn’t it. Why would a man young enough to be unencumbered (we all know that’s probably what she wants/expects) want to try to start a family with a middle aged woman? ::facepalm::

    Ship’s sailed lady, and you’re still standing on the dock.

  4. sunshinemary says:

    The level of denial is mind-boggling, but perhaps she didn’t want to sound too needy or baby-crazed on her match.com profile.

  5. George says:

    Dear 38 year old woman, yes your reproductive chances are slipping away so get moving on that, but Jim is a jerk, many (or most) 35-40-something men are driven by you as a person, rather than just your age or other commodity value. Find a like-minded guy who is nice and go for it. The Jims of the world will be divorced, guaranteed, because they attract women that look at them primarily as investments too. For some reason they think this is reality and can’t fathom why they are disliked.

  6. jouee says:

    I think “definietly want kids” also refers to the fact that she is open to step kids too so single dads are desirable.

  7. Jessica says:

    No matter..what’s your age..if u r attractive..u are..my cousin used to say he would like to date an attractive 38 years old than some ugly and unattractive 21 years old ..it depends on how u look and how attractive u r…sometimes age is just the no..some 40 years old jerks may want much younger women..but they don’t realize that they look like their fathers when others look at them and what’s the benefit lol as their young wives soon starts getting old with grey hair and loose vagina again these jerks dump them and marry women 30 years younger than themselves..

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